It's many years now since my PE teacher was first attempting to introduce the basics of association football to a young Brian Beard and I must confess it was an uphill struggle, for both parties. I don't recall much about that process and even less about what he tried to teach me and the rest of a bunch of eager but inept ten year olds but I do recall the amazing instructions he issued to the class as he tried to transfer, for the first time, his drills into a game situation.
The orders issued by Mr McCarthy, how I wish it could have been Mick, but in that case it was Bill, were as follows…
'Right, full backs, you must go no further forward than the edge of the penalty area. Half backs, sorry, midfielders, you must go no further than the half way line, centre halves should be stationed on the penalty spot and forwards you must always stay the other side of the half way line'.
I don't recall how successful those tactics were but I do remember that our school football teams didn't win too many games. But the reason I divulge the above is because that episode in my life, came drifting back into my mind as I watched England dispatch a fairly useful, at times, Ukrainian side at St James' Park.
I haven't missed an England international game since the days when fans didn't so much wonder if England was going to win but by how much. I enjoyed the euphoria of 1966, the despair of 1970 and ever since then I have watched, and waited, for another England captain to lift a proper trophy.
Having long been resigned to lack of silverware I then tried the consolation of watching the nation's international team in the vain hope that the adrenalin that raced when watching the Dutch, the Brazilians, occasionally the Argentines and, I cannot lie, the startling efficiency of the Germans, would be replicated by those of Anglo-Saxon birth.
When that became more penance than crusade I moved on, trying to appreciate the skills and talents of individual players. Not only Greaves, Charlton, Law and Best but Roger Davies, Ian Rush, Kenny Dalglish, Colin Bell and Gary Lineker et al.
So, it was with that background to viewing of England internationals, in recent years, I sat down to watch what must be the earliest ever friendly international in a football season. The Premiership was just one game old and even those fans who watch football outside the top flight have only ripped two vouchers from their season tickets as England hosted Ukraine under the stormy skies of the North East.
The early pace of the game was promising and whilst it was the visitors who impressed most in the opening exchanges, something startling happened to alter the course of the game - David Beckham scored. Not startling in itself and not even earth-shattering when 'Motty' announced it was only the skipper's third goal from open play in the 14 he has netted for England.
No, it was the manner of its creation that was seminal for me and brings me back, nicely I think, to my opening reminisces.
John Terry moved down the right flank with the ball, and my first thought, blame the last 30 years if you like, was 'what the hell is he doing there?' But instant analysis showed purpose in the way the Chelsea and England centre half, yes, I know I couldn't believe it either, strode forward with the ball neatly controlled at his feet.
I could hear Bill McCarthy shouting from that great changing room in the sky…'CENTRE HALVES SHOULD PLONK THEMSELVES ON THE PENALTY SPOT'.
But Terry made good progress and when you expected him to pass infield he confounded every coaching book ever written about centre halves with the deftest of deep crosses that swung in towards, and then away from, the keeper for, lo and behold, David Beckham to slide in, a la Alan Smith, and score at the far post. But there was more to come.
When Glen Johnson came on the young Chelsea defender went up and down the right flank like a winger, going forward, and like a defender, going back.
Then Shaun Wright-Phillips came on and started to take the ball past people, you know, like wingers used to do and showed confidence in ability, like all fans want to see. Three minutes before Shaun's entry into the game David Beckham had cut in from the right and clipped a superb LEFT FOOTED cross for Michael Owen's towering header. Well, it didn't have to be towering such was the accuracy of the cross.
I liked what I saw England produce. I liked even more that England players were not restricted to specific areas or, more to the point, did not restrict themselves. I got the feeling that the England team, in the second half I have to add, actually enjoyed playing football. And the fact that with so many 'first choice' players unavailable fringe players came in and will surely provide competition when those stars return, can only auger well for the future.
And maybe, somewhere along the line, England fans can get back to wondering how many goals their team will win by not will they win.
I wonder what Bill McCarthy would have made of it?
