Dominic Holland is already well known for appearances on television panel games such as 'Have I Got News For You' and 'They Think It¹s All Over' but the comedian wants to make his mark as an author, and has made a pretty good start to his new career.
It takes the ballsiest kind of comedian to stand up in front of hundreds of footballers and poke fun at their looks, quirks and media scandals. But that's exactly what Dominic Holland is.
Despite feeling super anxious and unwell before his stand-up gig at the recent PFA annual awards dinner - which was part nerves, part hangover - Holland had the 1,000-strong audience howling with laughter at his topical and risqué jokes.
Opening his act by asking the 600 players at London's Grosvenor House Hotel if they¹d booked five or six rooms between them was brave. Pointing out that the ratio of one lady present for every six players should be enough was near the knuckle.
Suggesting that Terry Venables was outside selling tickets, Rio Ferdinand was invited but forgot to turn up and Stan Collymore had arrived but was outside in his car could have got him strung up.
"But Gordon Taylor said I could say what I liked," grins Holland. "And I checked that none of the guys I was talking about were in the room first!"
Holland¹s act was a roaring success and had people cheering for more. But the audience was lucky the stand-up star and frequent guest of shows such as 'Have I Got News for You' performed for them at all.
"I really deliberated over whether I could do the performance that night because the PFA dinner is famed among comics as a really tough gig," explains Holland. "There have been some emotional casualties over the years.
"So before I went on I was very nervous - more nervous than I¹ve ever been. In fact I felt pretty unwell just beforehand, which might have been because I was out the night before and had a skinful.
"But the nerves were unbelievable. Because if you¹re going to do a tough gig you don't want to do it in front of all the footballers you really admire. But I could see Thierry Henry laughing on the big screen behind me and was really flattered by that. If the best footballer in the world finds me funny then I must be doing all right - no disrespect to the guys from Bury.
"So although I was worried about doing the gig I decided to do it for the sake of the book, and was glad I did."
Holland's book is 'The Ripple Effect' - a comedy tale of a die-hard football fan who, in a very round about way, saves his local team from folding. It's been hailed 'a belter of a novel - the book of the season' by Danny Baker.
The Daily Mail heaped praise upon it and concluded: "A hugely enjoyable and witty read". The Mirror said: "The Ripple Effect is an infectious warm-hearted tale about people pulling together". And The Sunday Times opined: "Funny, gripping, difficult to put down - what more do you want from a novel?"
But the tome has a serious message. It tells the tale of a baker who is so annoyed that his beloved Third Division football club is going to be asset-stripped by a property development company that, in a fit of pique, declines to put jam in a batch of doughnuts. That one little doughnut sets off a ripple of anger that eventually encompasses the whole country until parliament and the Prime Minister become involved.
In the end the ripple comes full circle and saves the club and local town.
Keeping local clubs afloat is a subject close to Holland's heart. He says: "I'm not a moralist but our game has got more money now than it ever has, yet more clubs are going bust. That's the point the book tries to make - that football is in peril.
"Once we lose these clubs to property developments we're never going to get them back. If we just concentrate all the money on a small number of big clubs, our game is going to suffer. Which is why I don't think the idea of rich businessmen pouring millions of pounds into our biggest teams is entirely good for the game.
"In my eyes, clubs like Brentford and Burnley are just as important as the top five. Each club has its die-hard fans which help keep such clubs alive, and players owe them a massive debt."
Strong words, perhaps. But Holland - who has been doing stand up comedy for13 years - is putting his money where his mouth is. He has toured the UK's smallest clubs doing free gigs and selling copies of 'The Ripple Effect' to give the profits back to the clubs.
He sold 200 copies at Bradford City and handed the club the profit. Brentford - which Holland supports - made £1,000 on the back of his book; Bradford made £1,000; Bournemouth £500 and AFC Wimbledon £1,300.
Holland - who is married to Nikki and has three sons, Tom, seven, and five-year-old twins Harry and Sam - is funding the promotion out of his own pocket. So far he¹s forked out £22,000.
"The publishers cut me out of my contract before it was even published," he explains. "That's why I've worked so hard publicising it and why I've spent over £20,000 of my own money trying to get the book off the ground. The money's gone on buying over 1,000 copies because the publishers wouldn't give me them, employing publicists, having the books couriered out, printing leaflets, buying envelopes, hiring designers to make leaflets and posters and doing free gigs.
"It's been a huge investment and cost me more money than I've made from it. Some would say it's a folly. But my wife has been thrilled with the reviews it got and hurt by the lack of promotion so is right behind me. And at least I know I've tried.
"But I'm not doing it just for benevolent reasons. I hope football fans will hear about the book and its author who's going around trying to save the clubs, then the book will take off by word of mouth. Or that football players who've read it talk about it or are pictured with a copy. It would almost be like starting a ripple effect with 'The Ripple Effect'."
Publishing could be the one industry that's more competitive than football. For every new book on the shelf within WH Smith, 399 are turned down. Since Holland's book was launched a few months back it isn't in the shops as much as he'd like but is readily available on the internet through sites such as Amazon.com.
It seems the book is already taking off in football circles. Thierry Henry has a signed copy, as does Gary Lineker and Mark Lawrenson. Graham Taylor hailed it the best football novel he¹d ever read. And as soon as Matt Le Tissier finished reading it he invited Holland to join him for a game of golf.
"Some players came up and congratulated me on the book, and I was as star struck as anyone. Football is all about merit, whereas showbiz is about luck and good fortune and being in the right place. But you can either play football or you can't and that's whether you're a top player or any pro."
One thing's for sure, Dominic Holland can certainly write. As you can find out by reading 'The Ripple Effect' yourself. Check out www.therippleeffect.com for more details.
* Article reproduced by kind permission of Players' Club - the official magazine of the PFA.
